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ManTalks Podcast: Purpose | Legacy | Relationships | Self Mastery | Business

The ManTalks Podcast is where self-motivated men, just like you, come to learn from a diverse mix of experienced mentors on how to be better Fathers, Husbands, Boyfriends, Brothers, Leaders and Entrepreneurs. Interviews have included the world's best professional and academic minds, scientists, relationship experts, entrepreneurs, bestselling authors, and other inspiring men. This show will make you a better Father, Husband, Boyfriend, Brother, Leader, Entrepreneur -- overall -- a better man. We invite you to join our community at http://www.mantalks.com
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ManTalks Podcast: Purpose | Legacy | Relationships | Self Mastery | Business
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Jul 24, 2016

Zachary Stockill is an award-winning Canadian researcher, writer, podcaster, and educator. Zachary is the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and discusses with Roger a lot of the shame men experience when trying to find resources or help to overcome their irrational jealousy. Zachary knows the subject all too well because he too was once a man who obsessed over his then-girlfriend's past. Discover more about the unhealthy and obsessive habits jealous men often fall into.

 

Key Takeaways:

[2:20] What was one of Zachary's defining moments?

[5:05] What does Zachary do?

[4:50] Zachary unpacks what 'retroactive jealousy' means.

[7:00] Out of nowhere, Zachary came up with ridiculous scenarios about his then-girlfriend and became jealous. 

[8:00] Despite realizing his jealousy, Zachary couldn't find the right resources that would address this issue for him.

[8:20] Both men and woman experience this equally.

[9:35] Men tend to have extreme double standards towards women who have done the same sort of sexual activities men have done in the past.

[10:05] A lot of men try to figure out a woman's past to see if it's in line with their ideal values.

[10:45] Male insecurity goes back a long way.

[11:40] Stop talking with your partner about their past - for now. You stop the cycle by doing this.

[13:00] What do you value in your relationship and what do you value in your partner?

[14:50] Sometimes people lie about their past just to sooth their partner.

[15:30] Own your problem. This is not your partner's problem.

[17:40] Some men might believe that if they hooked up with an angel of a woman, then their relationship would be so much better. Of course, this is just not true.

[19:10] There's a lot of shame around jealousy. Zachary still feels ashamed by the way he used to act.

[19:15] What can men do to open up this conversation?

[19:25] A lot of men don't have real friends.

[20:10] The problem doesn't resolve on its own. You have to step in and do the work.

[21:00] Keep focusing on personal development. Focus on your insecurities.

[21:30] Meditation is huge!

[22:25] The reality is we're never going to be perfect. The learning never stops.

[23:05] How does Roger stay off depression?

[24:20] Make an effort to be friends with older men. Seek out worldly people.

[27:55] What gets Zachary out of bed every day?

[29:25] When Zachary first wrote the book, he wrote it under a pen name.

 

Mentioned in This Episode:

www.mantalks.com/

info@ManTalks.ca

www.zfstockill.com/

www.retroactivejealousy.com/

www.travelsinmusic.com/

 

Music Credit:

Parlange & Latenite Automatic (www.jesusparlange.com www.lateniteautomatic.com)

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